The forgotten family member

After nearly 25 years as a Christian, Alan has finally discovered his true identity

That Older Brother, eh? What a sour face - all cross because his younger brother didn't get it in the neck from Dad. In fact, not only did his younger brother not get it in the neck but also he got a lavish welcome-home party after he'd wasted all his money on wild living. The Older Brother just couldn't understand his father's generosity and joy at having his 'lost' son back with him again. And it wasn't as if the younger brother was proud and impenitent. No, he had prepared an abject apology speech for his father. This was true repentance - but still the Older Brother was cross.

And the story of the lost son is a marvellous story of the mercy that God has for people who they turn back to him, for sinners who repent. It is a great illustration of God's grace - God giving us what we don't deserve and not despising a broken and contrite heart.

Moreover, the Older Brother challenges ourselves about our own unforgiving attitudes and our lack of joy when people 'get away with it' before God. Should we not be pleased when people turn back to God and are (sometimes) spared the result of their sinful ways of lives? Yes, of course we should, and we should question our own understanding of the gospel and its impact on our lives if we don't.

Trouble is, I fear I am The Older Brother.

One niggle at the back of my mind has been when the older brother says to his father that he has never been given [even?] a young goat so that he might celebrate with his friends. Was that true? In the parable, the father does not deny it, he just simply implies that he could have taken a young goat at any time - and perhaps he could. But, if the older brother is to be believed, he never did. The older brother just got on with his work, day after day, keeping his nose clean and doing what he had to. And, it appears, he never got to make merry. Now, there might have been all sorts of reasons why he didn't get to make merry - but it seems he never did.

Of course, the father represents God and the two brothers represent believers in their relationships with their heavenly father. Now, I want to state clearly that I am not bitter towards God. My heavenly father has been very good to me. I can say with the Psalmist that the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. My father has given me more than I need and more than I deserve. Moreover, I am delighted when people turn around and receive the forgiveness that is available through Christ and thereby have peace with God.

But, I am certainly not the younger brother. Well, I might have been once, but as the years have passed I have become his older sibling. I have lived the straight life as a Christian for nearly 25 years - just about all my adult life. I been faithful to my wife of over 20 years, raised children, managed to stay in employment (most of the time), contributed to the life of local churches, encouraged fellow believers in their walk with Christ, given a reason - when appropriate - for the hope that is in me. My point here is neither to boast nor to claim, "All these things I have kept since my youth". Rather it is to show that I am just the sort of person who will never feature in Christian magazines nor have books written about them.

Stories that do get published include the Christian who spends too much time on his career, ignores his family, piling up enough money and then realises that what he is doing is wrong. He then is able to tell people about all the mistakes he made and becomes a well-known speaker. Alternatively, someone who has been a complete rogue all their life suddenly is apprehended by God and all his sordid past is shown to be, well, sordid and worth nothing in comparison to the pearl of great price which he has discovered. He might well get the book contract and the speaking slot on the Christian conference circuit. The other favourite is the professional Christian who tells us how to live our day-to-day lives while having little first-hand knowledge of the sort of life that most Christians - ie, those not professionals - live.

Now don't get me wrong. I am very pleased - yes, really - when people get right with God, when they realise that "Fading is the worldling's pleasures, all his boasted pomp and show. Solid joys and lasting treasures none but Zion's children know". I am delighted when people get transferred from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. But I still feel a little ignored amid all these sounds of rejoicing while I am still working away in the field - day after day, decade after decade in fact, making sure I will be about my master's business when he returns (to change the parable a little).

But why am I - and thousands like me - ignored? Our stories simply aren't very exciting. We don't see miracles; there are no grand stories of repentance from past follies and lives changed around. There is just faith - sometimes as small as a mustard seed - and yeast that is very slowly spread around. There is no flash-bang moment of enlightenment while sitting among the pigs eating their food. There is just the steady plod, plod and enduring to the end so that we might be saved. And the impression that one can get from the church is that the important thing in the Christian life is where you give money to and how you spend your spare time (especially if it's with young people - "they are so open these days"). Just working in the fields day after day, year after year, is simply irrelevant.

But I don't mind - too much. I know I am simply looking forward to the "Well done, good and faithful servant". That really is all that matters. I trust I have a better relationship with my heavenly father than the older son in Jesus' parable seemed to have with his earthly one. God has been good to me.

But there is a danger. I suspect there are many older brothers out there who need help in living the straight life year in year out. I know I do. And there are not many examples to encourage us. No one writes about us or asks us to speak at conferences. And it does get hard to see the younger brother get all the attention. Not that we are looking for attention, we're just looking for some encouragement in what we're doing: Are we doing it the right way, are our hopes and dreams in line with the kingdom, what are our hopes and dreams anyway? But people aren't going to take the time to ask us these questions, to get alongside us and find out how we're doing - our story just isn't very interesting.

And the danger is that we think that since the church isn't interested in what we're up to then God probably isn't either. That, of course, is a lie of the devil, but the father of lies would love to get us bitter at the church, at our younger brothers. Without this encouragement the day just might come when we throw down our shovels, climb down from the tractor and just take off somewhere, somewhere to find a life that is affirmed and seems relevant.

But we won't. We have a loving heavenly Father. All the same, it would be nice to have a fatted calf killed for us once in a while.